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Monday, March 30, 2015

WhatTheFrak Monday?

Sleep Deprivation, motivation, nope, Monday, The Realm of D.M. Kilgore, Mondays Suck, Ugh, Farmer Brown, Weather Dog, WhatTheFrak, Disturbed, Disturbing, WTF, Spoons, Just Because I'm Crazy, D.M. Kilgore, Author, Writer, Literary Hitwoman, Blog, Am Writing, Not A Morning Person
Notice the lack of blood. Yet.

You know it's a Monday when...


The words sleep-deprived take on a new meaning when you have a "Weather Dog" and Farmer Brown is your neighbor.

Today is "Motivational Monday" at The Realm.

Problem is, I can't find my own motivation, so how am I supposed to motivate anyone else?

It's a two spoon WTF Monday kind of morning here.

I started this day disturbed and now it's going to get disturbing. You're welcome.

At least your day didn't start like this, right?


  • Scene 1: It's 3 a.m. and I'm sleeping sooooo good. So ridiculously good. Then a drop of rain hits the roof. Instant Weather Dog is on high alert. It's raining. The wind is blowing. There's lightning. We're all going to die! Yep, Daisy has gone full on "It's a Twister! It's a Twister!" and must alert her adoring family by "ruffing" until the danger passes.

Color me sleep-deprived.


I finally fall asleep around 5 a.m. when the rain stops and Daisy returns to chainsaw-epic-snoring.

  • Scene 2: It's 5:30 a.m. and I'm sleeping pretty good. Farmer Brown wakes up and decides his mutant cows need to be chased around the barnyard with his souped-up tractor from hell. At least, I assume the constant rumble-roar drifting through the woods is a tractor. Truth is, it could be any sort of loud and heavy equipment. Farmer Brown deals with broken down junkers on the side. Maybe he's moving cars instead of cows. Point is, the constant rumble-roar is making sleep impossible.

Color me sleep-deprived and pissy.


The good news is, it's 7 a.m. and the baby is still sleeping, which means I can get some work done before he wakes up in "Hey lady, I'm starving and my tushy is wet" mode. I settle down with a super strong cup of Chai Tea and my American History assignment. I manage to get logged in before the next scene.

  • Scene 3: Hubby decides to make the world's loudest cup o' joe. I have never heard such loud stirring in my life. Then he starts talking. I don't do the talking in the mornings. He is going on and on, loudly. He has some hearing loss so his normal volume is loud and louder. He's going to wake the baby. I can shush him, and then deal with him being mad at me all day because it's not his fault he can't hear. Or I can do my usual "morning grunt" response and hope he stops talking. I grunt. Nope. He's still talking... about the weather. By the way, he sleeps through the Weather Dog alert system and Farmer Brown's noisy equipment.

Color me sleep-deprived, pissy, and pondering single life.


And now I'm supposed to write something motivational, upbeat, and inspiring to get you through your Monday. Well... I got nothing. My motivational skill level is at "kill and go back to bed" right now. I think it best if I don't try to pretend my mood is going to allow for "inspirational" motivational speaking right now.

Let's just face the facts.

  1. It's Monday.
  2. Mondays suck.

I'm not going to try to motivate you today. Instead, I'm going to share three things with you. Three things that will temporarily allow you forget today is Monday.

#1 The world's most disturbing clip art:

Sleep Deprivation, motivation, nope, Monday, The Realm of D.M. Kilgore, Mondays Suck, Ugh, Farmer Brown, Weather Dog, WhatTheFrak, Disturbed, Disturbing, WTF, Spoons, Just Because I'm Crazy, D.M. Kilgore, Author, Writer, Literary Hitwoman, Blog, Am Writing, Not A Morning Person
You have 3 minutes to solve this wtf puzzle.

 


#2 The world's most disturbing book cover:

Sleep Deprivation, motivation, nope, Monday, The Realm of D.M. Kilgore, Mondays Suck, Ugh, Farmer Brown, Weather Dog, WhatTheFrak, Disturbed, Disturbing, WTF, Spoons, Just Because I'm Crazy, D.M. Kilgore, Author, Writer, Literary Hitwoman, Blog, Am Writing, Not A Morning Person
At least one reviewer is angry this
isn't really a human-horse romance.

 

#3 The world's most disturbing baby shower cake:

Sleep Deprivation, motivation, nope, Monday, The Realm of D.M. Kilgore, Mondays Suck, Ugh, Farmer Brown, Weather Dog, WhatTheFrak, Disturbed, Disturbing, WTF, Spoons, Just Because I'm Crazy, D.M. Kilgore, Author, Writer, Literary Hitwoman, Blog, Am Writing, Not A Morning Person, DISTURBING
Seriously? Who thought this was a good idea?



Now, go out there and tell Monday nothing it can do can disturb you now. Yikes.

4 comments :

LaDonna Cole said...

Back off Monday, I'm desensitized to your horrors!

DM Kilgore said...

The cake kind of makes all other things a non-issue, right?

S. R. Karfelt said...

Oh, the cake! I can't even look directly at it. I'm like looking out of the corner of my eye. Can't bear it. I think that that book is actually supposed to be a humor one and is really funny. Go figure. I might just have to read it and find out. I could leave the cover on my kindle and plop it on the counter next Monday just for DH, right?

Why have Mondays if you can't play with them? Or would that be DH's?

And that was the longest Monday EVER. So, hello Tuesday!

DM Kilgore said...

Bwahahaha- it actually IS a comedy book and has nothing at all to do with the cover or bestiality (far as I know). The reviews always crack me up. Someone was REALLY upset it was NOT a horsey romance. I LOVE your idea of adding it to your Kindle and leaving it for DH to find. LOL

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