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Friday, February 20, 2015

Fearless Friday: 5 Steps To Freedom

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Are you ready to take action?

Fear. 

You can't avoid it.
Let's face it.

You can't run from it.
Let's fight it.

You can't let it imprison you.
Let's be free.


 

“Only by fully experiencing fear,
can you ever hope to control it.”

― Wayne Gerard Trotman, Kaya Abaniah and the Father of the Forest

 

TAKE ACTION.


The Fearless Friday
Five Step Program To Freedom:

 

Step #1: Identify It.

What are you afraid of? 

Dig deep. It's not just the surface thing that is crippling you-- it's what lies beneath.

“There is no illusion greater than fear.”
― Lao Tzu 

For example, I'm "afraid of flying". What does that mean? Am I afraid of airplanes? No. Am I afraid of birds? No. Am I afraid Peter Pan is going to show up and fly me out the window? No. I'm not afraid of "flying". I'm afraid of not being in control. I'm afraid of what could go wrong, leaving me a sitting duck for an inevitable fiery end that I have no control over. Now, I'm getting somewhere. My fear isn't just about flying, it's about control.

 

Step #2: Face It.

How can you confront it?

Get real. You control your fear, it doesn't control you. Greet fear with a brave smile and let it know you're the boss.  

“I have to face the fear. 
I have to take control of the situation
and find a way to make it less frightening.”
 
― Veronica Roth, Divergent  

 (In my case, it's ironic, yes? In order to face my fear of not being in control I have to take control.) Avoid avoiding it. Put yourself in the path of your fear. This is the ol' "If you get thrown from the horse you get right back on" theory in action. Now, I can't just go out and hop on a plane (too expensive), but I can put myself into other situations where I'm not in control. Baby steps are fine. They still get you where you're going. Just move forward-- towards your fear. The idea here is you're chasing it, not running from it.
 

 

Step #3: Train For It.

How do I prepare for battle?

Get ready. You can't go in unprepared. What kind of fighter goes into the ring without training?

 “When you encounter uncomfortable situations,
you can either decide to be victim or an over-comer.
Always choose to be an over-comer.
Grace is within our reach to be an over-comer.”

― Lailah Gifty Akita

Step 2 was the beginning of your training. You have to face your opponent before you can fight them. Now, it's time to finish your training. Breathe. Pray. Meditate. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Whatever it takes to CALM yourself. You can't go into the battle already half-out of your mind with fear. Find your technique for calming and centering yourself. I use breathing exercises and a mantra (I'm bigger than my fears). You can now stand bravely and calmly before your enemy.

 

Step #4: Fight It.

How can you conquer it?

Start swinging. Give your fear your best "game face" and start swinging!

To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around.
 ― Richie Norton 

You might not win every round, but don't stop throwing punches. Chase your fears around the ring. Corner them. Pummel them until the throw in the towel. How? You have to decide what works for you, but what works for me is writing. I write down all the things that make me feel "out of control". Then I write myself into the story as the heroic winner of the disaster at hand. Other times, I repeat: "Not the Apocalypse". This is code to myself for "it's not that big of a deal". It doesn't matter that hubby loaded the dishwasher "wrong". It matters that I don't have to do the dishes now.  (Yes, I have a problem with rearranging dirty dishes. I admit it. It's a work in progress.)

 

Step #5: Freedom!

How can you conquer it?

Walk away. You've TKO'd you fear. Now what? Walk away, hands in the air all Balboa style and yell, "YO ADRIAN!" or whatever makes you feel like the winner you are. You've won this fight.

 “Closing the gate on her oldest fears
as she had closed the gate of her own fenced yard,
she discovered the wings she'd always wished she had.”

― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting

Of course, fear might demand a rematch. That's okay. Each and every time you fight your fear and win you are that much closer to total freedom. Am I ready to hop a plane yet? Not quite, but I'm getting there. I have accepted flying is something I will likely have to do at some point. I've come to terms with it. I might have a panic attack when they start loading the plane, but I think right now I could at least get to the gate with a ticket in hand.


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I'll have what he's having!



 “Always remember that those with very important paths to fulfill will always be forced by life into the fear of the very things that their true paths consist of, in order to prevent the destiny from ever happening. Or perhaps, in order to strengthen the courage of the heart, because courage is to look into a direction, make a choice and to actually do that which you are afraid of, and what is destiny if it is not fulfilled by a heart full of courage and brawn?”

― C. JoyBell C.



P.S. Our "Fun Friday" family movie night pick:

 
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Keeping with the theme...


 
***NOTE***

Keep in mind that not all fears are created equal. Sometimes you need more help than "mind over matter". PTSD, depression, serious phobias, anxiety, and severe panic attacks should never be tackled alone. Talk to your doctor about overwhelming and consuming fears. You don't have to go it alone, and you shouldn't.



• ○ • YOUR TURN! • ○ •


What are you afraid of?
How do you face, fight, and free yourself from that fear?

 

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D.M. Kilgore
Writer, Literary Hitwoman, and Crash Test Dummy.

I'm D.M. Kilgore.

 

Writer, Literary Hitwoman, and Crash Test Dummy. 

 

I'm a writer, but I'm also a chicken.

I'm afraid of all kinds of things... clowns, alligators, flying... flying clowns. Fighting my fears-- and more importantly what lies beneath them -- is a daily battle for me. I put on a brave face, keep my hands up, protect my face, and go in swinging. Sometimes, I shut my eyes.

How do you face your fears? Do you have something to add to my 5 steps? Let me know!





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Life's A Collision Course


Brace For Impact!

Fears, Facing Fear, Fighting Fear, Action, 5 Steps To Conquer Fear, Quotes, Freedom, 5 Steps, Fearless, D.M. Kilgore, The Realm, The Realm of D.M. Kilgore, Fearless Friday, Favorite Quotes, Quotes about Fear, Brave, Be Brave, Be Fearless, Writing, Am Writing, Author, Blog, Bloggind, Fearless Writing, Identifying Your Fears, Movie Night, Family Movie Night, Fun Friday, DMKilgore.com, DM Kilgore, February Giveaway, Top Commentor, Prize, Chocolate, Ghirardelli
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