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Friday, January 11, 2013

I'm a poet and I know it... or am I?

Friday, January 11, 2013

Weight:  202.  Yep.  Go me!  Since January 1st I have lost 9 lbs of the 11 I regained over the holidays.  I'm only 2 lbs away from that stupid number on the scale I keep promising myself I will never cross again.  THIS TIME I MEAN IT.

Coffee Consumption: 1 cup and only 1 tbsp of Creamer.  A serious improvement.  I think my jug of French Vanilla might last through the weekend at this rate.  I don't see myself giving up the coffee or the creamer.  Just keeping it real.

Chocolate Report:  Not a crumb since January 6th.  It seems this "quitting" chocolate might actually be a plausible goal.  I tell myself it's temporary.  When I hit my "goal" I can have it again.  In moderation.  What's moderation?  *scratches chin*  Not sure.  I don't think it applies to coffee, chocolate, or book shopping though. 

Dear Diary,

I know I missed a day of blogging, and of my whole great "daily doses" idea... but really...

I doubt I was missed.  *sniff*  Gathering blog followers is hard!  Who knew?  I can't even entice people to stop by when I give free stuff away.  Shocking and tragic, isn't it?  Must work on socialization skills... or buy better deodorant.  Not sure which.  I smell good though.  Just sayin'.

But, enough about that.  I wanted to tell you the reason I missed a day.  I was busy with my school work.  This has been my first week of my new English class, Creative Writing.  I've been rather excited that I'd have "creative freedom" in my school assignments.  I'm discovering that "freedom" is limited.  We have "rules"  (the horror, the horror) that have to be followed. 

This week my writing assignment said, "Write A Poem".  I did a little jig.  I have been writing poems since I was 4 years old.  CAKE.  I further examined the instructions and rubric to discover we had to choose a prompt and then write our poem from there.  PIE. 

The startling realization that this thing was going to go down more like TUNA (gag) came with the words:  "This is a free writing assignment, so don't worry about rhyme or meter! Just have fun!" Whaaaa?????



Since the age of 4, my poetry has consisted of jotting down my very heartfelt thoughts, and then placing them in perfectly aligned stanzas, being sure that there was a precise rhyme pattern, and that each line had an exact number of syllables as the line's counterpart within the stanza.  Yes, I count each word out, write the number above it, and rearrange or change words entirely if needed  I've rewritten entire poems when I realized nothing rhymes with orange.

Some would call it dedication to the craft.  Some would call it perfectionism.  Some would call it crazy.  Some would call it OCD.  (Actually, that is probably a good call where I'm concerned.) 

I call it poetry.  I like it pretty, powerful, perfect, and tied up with a big ol' bow at the end.  That's my "style".  Much like that uncle we all have who is still hanging on to his Members Only jacket, I have held onto this style for the last 36 years.  What can I say?  I'm a creature of habit.  I don't really like change.  Then again I'm easily bored and always off to explore something new and different.  I'm a Gemini.  I can't help it.

Free writing poetry is as foreign to me as donning camo, grabbing a rifle, and blowing Bambi's mom away.  Maybe more so.  No meter?  No rhyme?  O M G-osh!  What to do?! What to do?!

Just between me and you, diary...  it was more like panic in the trailer park, but you get the idea.

I picked my prompt.  It was a nature exercise.  Sit outside in a quiet spot.  Close your eyes.  Then open them and write a list of the things you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.  It was all about imagery and the senses.
I figured, free writing or not, maybe Tuna with mayo if I got lucky.  Did you know you can kill the taste of anything with enough mayo?  Mmmm  MAYO.  Haven't touched the stuff in weeks.  Honest.

But I digress...  Back to nature...

Now, as with all my writing, I can't just do the normal thing.  No, not I!  I decided to wait until twilight.  It's my favorite part of the day.  *sparkle*  Okay, okay, that's not why.  Twilight is a great time to go out into nature and write a poem.  Under cover of partial-darkness, no one can see you out in your yard staring into space with that "duh...." expression on your face and pencils sticking out of your very unfabulous updo.  What? Don't you stick pencils in your hair and twirl them until the updo (i.e. tangled knot) appears?  Maybe I'm just weird. *shrug*  ANYhoo...

It wasn't typical twilight, which made it all the more amazing.  There was this incredible thick fog making its way down the mountain.  It was literally oozing across the valley.  Very eerie.  Very mysterious.  Very much my kind of inspiration.  Off I went, down to the creek, to sit on my favorite rock, and ponder natures mysteries in the darkness and mist.

My rock was under water.  My favorite tree had fallen.  I ended up standing there like a numbskull staring into the creek with a pout that would make Angelina jealous.  Bummer. 

My deadline looming, I settled for sitting on the fallen tree.  It wasn't the same.  I did manage to get enough "see/touch/hear/smell/taste" notes to work with.  I headed back inside to get to work.

My list was long and organized by sense.  I figured I'd be done by dinner time.  Turns out tuna wasn't on the menu either.  Oh, it was cake alright, but more like last year's FRUITCAKE.  It was hard to free write about the things I'd listed.  I tried to be really "outside the box" and delved into writing with enjambment technique, something very new and totally outside of my comfort zone.  It was choppy and kind of uh... well not very good.  I managed to tweak that version into "good enough", but we both know that I'm never satisfied with good enough.

48 sleepless hours and many tantrums and tears later...

I had 3 versions of my poem.  I sent it off to a handful of trusted pals (both writers and non) to see what they thought.  Reviews were mixed.  (Big thank you's to the friends I bugged with this self-doubt!)  I think only one of my dear friends got it precisely as I meant it.  Diary, let's just say it's both delightful and disturbing when someone knows you so well that even from 2 states away, and having never seen the place you call home, they are able to tell you exactly what you are describing.   No, I don't think the poem was so well written that he easily figured it out.  I think maybe he's psychic.  Possibly.

What were we talking about?  Oh, right.  The FRUITCAKE.

I turned it in tonight after much deliberation about which version to submit.  I'll let you know how it goes over.  I have to say despite my tears and the bad taste of year old fruitcake that lingers on my tongue... I'm pretty proud of it.  It's not bad.  I'd venture on decent.  Maybe even good.  It's probably the most poetic poem I've written and possibly one of the best.  Goooooo FRUITCAKE!  Whoo!

Oh, and during one of my meltdowns over the agony of poetic freedom...

I wrote another poem.  It was a frustrated attempt at amusing myself.  I wrote a poem about writing.  It turned out pretty good too.  I like it.  I like it a lot.

The important thing in all this random blabbering of course, is that I've been writing.  Non-stop.  For days.  It may not have been on my novel, or should I say novels, but I did write and it was a mind stretching and enlightening exercise in what I can do when I really put not just my heart but also my brain in the mix.  My total word count for the last 48 hours:  7,851  *whoop whoop*

Oh, and I did it all without chocolate and with only one cup of coffee.

Well, that's enough daily dosin' for today, err.. tonight.  I'm feeling generous.  I'll give a nifty prize away for comments.  Yep, just comment below after following this blog and you might win a $25 gift card of your choice.  Take advantage of my giving nature, please, I like it.  AND... drum-roll please... if you send 5 people here and they follow my blog, comment below, and mention your name...  I'll double the prize value and give one of those lucky new followers a nifty prize as well.

How cool am I? 

Actually,  I'm not cool.  It's 73 degrees outside... in January.

~ * ~

This post brought to you by a very tired blue monkey in a bikini.
A red/white/blue patriotic two-piece.

Just try to get that image outta your head!

I'll announce and contact winners, as always, within 48 hours.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Day In The Life...

Sometimes I wonder...

I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to quit my brown monkey job to be a sahm.
I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to homeschool my special needs son.
I wonder what I was thinking when I agreed that the housework was my "job".
I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to write a novel.
I wonder what I was thinking when I started to blog.
I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to go back to school, at age 40.
I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to write another novel, before finishing the first one.
I wonder what I was thinking when I thought I could do college while teaching 4th grade.
I wonder what I was thinking when I began this whole "I'll just rescue one dog at a time" mission.
I wonder what I was thinking when I rescued another dog, then another, then another, etc.
I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to stop blogging on two of the four blogs I blog on.
I wonder what I was thinking when I started hosting contests and giving away prizes here.

Then I pause long enough to stop wondering what I was thinking and begin wondering why.

I wonder why I'm the only one that can see the empty toilet paper rolls and full garbage cans.
I wonder why the cat thinks it is his duty to roll over so the dogs can maul him.
I wonder why Sookie squeals instead of barks, runs into walls, and can't walk on linoleum.

Then I pause long enough to wonder why I wonder why.  Then I start wondering if.

I wonder if it going to rain, or be cold, or both, or neither tomorrow.
I wonder if the new medicine is making me feel funky or if it's something else.
I wonder if watching scary movies before bed is a bad idea.
I wonder if it's possible to read more than one book at a time without getting so confused.
I wonder if this town will ever have a book store.


I wonder if all this wondering is getting me anywhere at all.

Then I get back to work.

That said, here's your Daily Dose of DM
The whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Tuesday, January  8, 2013
Home. Living room.  TV is on, no one else is in here. I'm not watching it.  I wonder why it is on.

12:36 am.  What? Okay, so it's not Tuesday now it's officially Wednesday.  Oh well.  This is Tuesday's dose all the same. 

Weight: 206 and holding... sigh.

Food Consumed:  Copious amounts of coffee (heavy on the Gourmet French Vanilla), steak with baked potato and salad for lunch, burger (plain) for dinner.  I'm carb/fat loading today to prep for the new reduction in calories tomorrow.  I've decided to customize the plan by combining Thurmond and Paleo.  Both worked great for me but they have their "flaws".  I'm combining to reduce the failure potential and increase my weight loss.  Let's see how this works.  In my head it all makes sense.

Daily Calorie Budget: 1,200 / Net calories: 1,359 (whoo! That's good considering I was loading!)

Exercise: Typing (2 hours),  Recumbent bike (30 minutes), Vacuuming/Housework (1 hour) I forgot to tally the calories burned... ooopsie.

The Truth:

I've got no real news, no complaints, and am just living on love and faith these days.  I'm sleepy but not enough to really sleep.  Last night I had crazy bad nightmares.  Maybe the new meds.  Not sure.  I simply HAVE TO work on getting back to a normal sleep schedule.

Today's moment with God: 

…for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4

There is nothing we can give to God. We must rely on Him for everything—even our faith. When we accept it as His precious gift, we find victory over sin and trials. We could never have this victory if we relied only on our own tenuous faith. “Faith does not always provide exemption from suffering, but it does keep us from being defeated at the hands of suffering.”

Reflection: Today I will rely on the Lord to walk by faith and not by sight, no matter what happens. Lord, help me to ignore Satan’s lies and live victoriously today by faith in the hope which only You can give and restore.

Standing Strong Through The Storm
A daily devotional message by author Paul Estabrooks

Time with family and/or friends:  phone calls / text messages / facebook /email.  Sad I know.

Word Count Goal: 2,500 / Actual Word Count: 2,854 (GRIN)

Currently Reading: 

, by Tosca Lee (Chapter 5) This is a must read.

Speaking of Tosca Lee... I CANNOT WAIT FOR ISCARIOT!

Don't Say A Word by Beverly Barton (Chapter 4) Didn't make any progress here today.

Bible: Didn't do the "daily reading" but what I read I already posted above. ;)

Thing 2 and I are still reading the Magic Tree House Series, by Mary Pope Osborne.  We're still on book three, Mummies In The Morning (Chapter 6).

Bible Study:  Beth Moore's Daniel (Week 6)

It's now  1:16 am. 


*As always random prizes - just follow and comment!*

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A VERY Unexpected Daily Dose!

Phobia Du Jour: Trypanophobia
The extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles.


There are fears and then there are phobias.  Fear is a distressing emotion induced by a perceived threat. Phobia on the other hand, is a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

Like most people, I have fears. 

I fear tornadoes, being eaten by an alligator, my pants falling down in public, and going to Walmart after midnight.

Oh, and I'm not really a fan of heights-- though that is not really a fear, I just get vertigo and have to crawl out on balconies above the 4th floor.

As for phobias... I only have two.

An irrational fear of flying.

Although most people understand that airplanes sometimes crash, one suffering from Aviophobia believes that the exact plane that they are on will, in fact, crash resulting in their ultimate demise.

This one is two-part for me:

1)  I don't like heights. 
2)   I don't like being in a situation of "no escape".

When I was a child, my uncle would to tell me it didn't matter if I was on a plane or not.  He'd say, "When your number's up, your number's up.  Doesn't matter where you are."  Of course, even at 9 years old I had a logical reason for not flying.  What if the pilot's number is up? Hmmm?

Aviophobia sucks when you're a writer.  I very much want to travel, to see exotic places, and then to write about them from first-hand experience.  Maybe one day this is a phobia I will overcome.

As for my other phobia...

There's not a snowball's chance in Hades that I'd even confront it willingly.



                          You see this:


 And I see this:

And to me they're both the same.

Of course, if you ask my mother, who happens to dress as a clown each and every Halloween...
She will tell you that I used to love the circus and the clowns.
Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. 
Maybe I was blocking out the trauma? Hmm?

What I do remember is this:

                                                                                          And this:

Thank you 
Steven Spielberg 
Stephen King.

My Insomnia Explained In 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

They even stalk me when I'm in church!

But I digress...

What were we talking about?

(Takes nerve pill/ Puts on clown repellent pajamas / Checks under the bed.)
- Ahem -

Oh yes, yes.
So, ANYhoooo...

I thought I just had the two, flying and clowns.  Turns out I have another tiny one.  It's kind of like
Trypanophobia but not really.  I don't mind needles.  I don't like them per say but I don't have an overwhelming or irrational fear of them.  Shots aren't exactly pleasant, but I'll happily roll up my sleeve for a nurse or doctor to inject me and never so much as wince.  I just don't care.  Whatever.  I can take it.  I've had gallstones, kidney stones, and two children.  I don't balk at a needle.

I am woman, hear me roar. 

That is... Until...
The nurse hands me the syringe and the vial and says, "There ya go!"

Wait.  What?  WAIT! WHAT?!?!?

Seems the new migraine stuff is inject-able and I just give it to myself.  Only, I've never done that.  What if I mess up.  What if I shoot myself full of air bubbles and keel over.  What if I give myself too much or not enough? 

Come to find out, if you express your concerns about such things the doctor will have the nurse teach you how to safely inject yourself.  Who knew?

I got my "how to" lesson, my prescription, and out the door I went.

I managed to give myself a shot today.  No biggie.  Didn't even hurt.  Some very mild stinging at the injection site after the fact but really, nothing to it.

It's insane how proud I am of myself for this accomplishment.  I've overcome a phobia with no name.  The fear of giving one's self a shot.  I'll just call it Auto-Trypanophobia.

No headache tonight.  Yay me!  Yay shots!  Yay... to maybe one day flying to new and exotic places!  Yay to clo...  No yay clowns.  That is one I'm not ready to tackle yet. *SHIVER*

That said, here's your Daily Dose of DM
The whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Monday, January  7, 2013
Home. Bedroom. It's dark in here.  *Checks under bed*  11:58 pm. 

Weight: The scale at the doctor is wrong.  Plus my clothing and shoes added 5 lbs I'm sure. Positive.

Food Consumed:  Copious amounts of coffee (heavy on the Gourmet French Vanilla), skipped lunch, had bbq pork and fried apples for dinner.

Daily Calorie Budget: 1,200 / Net calories: 1,133 (whoo!)

Exercise: Does running around like a chicken with my head cut off count?

The Truth:

At the doctor:  My blood pressure was excellent- even a bit low. I'd say that is PROOF that having an animal companion really does lower your blood pressure. I didn't need 12 pills a day just 12 dogs to love on! Who knew! Or maybe it's my "job" where I get to kill off people who annoy me if I want to? Bwahaha I guess the eating right and exercising might have played a small part in it too.  Kidney stone seems to be "gone"... whoo hoo. =) 

I spent all day doing doctor, errands, bill paying, grocery shopping, school, and writing.  Truth is I'm tired.  I just want to go to bed now.

Today's moment with God: 

From my devotionals:

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." -1 Peter 5:7- "Lie passive in God's hands, And know no will but his."

O child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in his providence. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence!

I do have a prayer request. Please pray for my mom. She just heard from her doctor regarding something they saw during a chest xray they took while she had pneumonia. There is something in her lung. It's not scar tissue. She goes in in the morning to talk to the doctor, blood work, testing etc. He will decide based on that if she needs a pulmonary specialist or an oncologist. This would be a scary ordeal in and of itself... but as most of you know my dad has been battling terminal cancer for several years now and he's undergone rigorous treatment including a stem cell transplant. He is currently in remission but has to remain on some very high power cancer fighting drugs for the rest of his life. Mom is his main caregiver, I am an only child, and all of our family is way up in NC. So, please pray that whatever "it" is that's going on with my mom... it's nothing serious.

We'd ALL kind of like to be "WELL" for a while, ya know? Hoping and praying that's not too much to ask. God is faithful, and he wants us to cast all our cares upon him because He cares for us. I'm putting His will above my own and trusting in him completely. We know the good Lord won't give us all more than we can handle... but prayers feel pretty good when you are facing life's uncertainties.

Time with family and/or friends:  Talked to my parents on the phone today. Spent some time with Thing 1 at Winterjam Sunday night.  RED was AMAZING!  Too bad we were sitting in the super-uber-nose-bleed section.  We did rock out from the rafters though!  Thing 2 is back home- I sure missed the little fella!  Jeff and I didn't get much time since I was wrapped up in school work today by the time he got home.

Word Count Goal: 2,500 / Actual Word Count: 3,599- including writing for school assignment.

Currently Reading: 

, by Tosca Lee (Chapter 4) LOVE IT!

Speaking of Tosca Lee... I CANNOT WAIT FOR ISCARIOT!

Don't Say A Word by Beverly Barton (Chapter 4) Didn't make any progress here today.

Bible: Didn't do the "daily reading" but what I read I already posted above. ;)

Thing 2 and I are still reading the Magic Tree House Series, by Mary Pope Osborne.  We're still on book three, Mummies In The Morning (Chapter 5).

Bible Study:  Beth Moore's Daniel (Week 6)

It's now  1:56 am. 

No wonder I'm tired.  Daisy is having a dog-mare.  Guess I better wake her up so I can go to sleep.  Maybe she won't chew my arm off.  If you don't hear from me, someone please write a book about my life and call it, "When 70lb Foster Floor Rugs Attack".  ^.^







As always I'll award a prize to a random follower! 
Good luck.  Entering is easy- just follow and comment.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

I'm not the only writer here... am I?

I hope that I have some writers following me because tonight...

It's your turn to shine!

1.  Pick A Prompt.
2.  Write!
3.  Post your finished product in the comments below.
4.  Send everyone you know here to vote for your entry (Just tell them to follow my blog, then comment with "I vote for (your name)" in the comment section!)
5.  Most votes wins a pretty awesome prize pack! 

*I'll tally all the votes on Saturday, January 12th and announce the winner in that night's post!*

Note:  You'll want to be sure to send your friends/family to this blog but give them the link to this post so they can find it, as I will continue to post during the week and this will get shuffled to the bottom. 

Okay, Ready?  GO!

Prompt A:  Write about a Cat.

Prompt B:  Write about the following character.
Character:  Mac Hazel

Prompt C:  Write about a situation in which an obstacle causes problems for this character.

Character:  John Haley
Obstacle:   Obsessive Behavior.

Prompt D:  Write about a situation where the first character wishes to achieve a certain goal, but is prevented by the second character.

Character 1:  Deon Schulte
Goal:  To be immortal
Character 2:  Sydney Baptist

That said, here's your Daily Dose of DM
The whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Saturday, January 5, 2013
Home. Living room. 11:54 pm. 

Weight: 206 lbs... same as yesterday.

Food Consumed:  Copious amounts of coffee (heavy on the Gourmet French Vanilla), bagel with industrial sized spoonfuls of cream cheese (not the light kind either). I honestly don't remember if I ate lunch or not- writing again.  For dinner we ate El Metate.  I had a steak taco salad.  Snacks:  I had an apple. 

Daily Calorie Budget: 1,200 / Net calories: 1,009 (whoo hoo!)

Exercise: Do you remember last night's typing equation?  Well there was more researching and mouse clicking than actual typing today, but I estimated a burn of 118 calories.

The Truth:

I spent all day researching for my new novel.  I'm tired.  This writing prompt contest is because I'm too tired to be witty and creative with a post of my own.  Happy writing!  I expect to see some entries.  All this no commenting on my hard work is making me rather depressed.

Today's moment with God: 

He [Jesus] said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" Mark 4:40-41

God is showing me: Storms ultimately do come to an end! And the storms often reveal something new about Jesus.

Today I focused on being thankful that the storms in my life will come to an end. I will deliberately seek to discover something new about Jesus and what He wants me to be for Him.

PRAYER: Pray that you—and believers everywhere—will have spiritual eyes and ears to see, hear and learn new lessons from Jesus in the storms of life.

From: Standing Strong Through The Storm (SSTS)
A daily devotional message by author Paul Estabrooks

Bible Gateway/Verse of the day: Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. -Isaiah 1:16-17

God is asking me to pray for Him to help me remove all things from my life, my mind, my spirit that break his heart.

Bible Reading: Job’s Restoration / Job 42:10

Time with family and/or friends: In all honesty... I sat on one end of the couch with my laptop, hubby on the other with his laptop, and the kids came and went and entertained themselves.  Sad but true. 

Word Count Goal: 2,500 / Actual Word Count: 1,003- more research than writing today.

Currently Reading: 

, by Tosca Lee (Chapter 4) LOVE IT!

Speaking of Tosca Lee... I CANNOT WAIT FOR ISCARIOT!

Just look:

Don't Say A Word by Beverly Barton (Chapter 4) Didn't make any progress here today.

Bible: Didn't do the "daily reading" but what I read I already posted above. ;)

Thing 2 and I are still reading the Magic Tree House Series, by Mary Pope Osborne.  We're still on book three, Mummies In The Morning (Chapter 5).

Bible Study:  Beth Moore's Daniel (Week 6)

It's now  12:09 am. 

I'm off to bed and looking forward to church in the morning.  I hope my muse will stay home and wait on me though.  One place I do not welcome the muse is in the middle of church service!