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Monday, May 6, 2013

Musing Mondays ~ My Brain On Math (Chapter 2)

May 6, 2013
Monday, 6:00 pm 


Weight:  I've gained 2 lbs.  I am positive it's math stress, nothing more.  *hides the jar of Nutella*

Coffee Consumption: 1 cup of French Vanilla Coffee x 4
(How's that for a math fact?)

Chocolate Report: Let' not go there this week.

Day 7 of "Applied Finite Math"

Well, no *@#% Barbie.

 Mental Status Update:

  Feeling Discouraged & Angry!


I spent last week pouring over the math text, visiting all the helpful math links, and digging through numerous "math secrets" books.  I re-read my blog over and over as a kind of mental pep-talk.  I prayed.  A lot.  I cried.  A lot.  I went through a jar of jellybeans that has been sitting on my desk untouched since Easter.  Let's not even talk about the chocolate or coffee consumption of the last seven days.  Don't ask me about those empty jars of Nutella.  In the last seven days... here's what I've learned about math:


I "aren't".

I don't get it.

This is not an acceptable answer.

Neither is this.


 *I said don't ask me about all those empty jars...*

Oh, I know, Math is IMPORTANT...


And it can even save your life:


But does it really have to be so...



And let's just look at that word, shall we?  Applied.


having a practical purpose or use; derived from or involved with actual phenomena (distinguished from theoretical, opposed to pure ): applied mathematics; applied science.
of or pertaining to those arts or crafts that have a primarily utilitarian function, or to the designs and decorations used in these arts.
Now, while I'm not a numbers person, we all know I am a words person.  I read that definition and think, Applied Math must mean math that has a practical purpose.  Applied math must be important to my art, or perhaps my Fine Arts Degree.  Uh, I'm a writer.  My "art" is in words not numbers.  This is required why?  This is practical why?  

Practical?  Applied?  Poppycock!   

Guess what?  It ain't gonna happen sista!  Not in my line of work anyway!  And don't tell me, "But you need to be good with numbers so that when you write your best-seller you can keep up with your profits, and losses, and know your agent isn't pulling a fast one over on you."  I'll hire an accountant, thank you very much. 

Truth is, my friend Leila (who is also suffering through this class) shared this with me:

I laughed and laughed until I realized the ugly truth!

I am NEVER going to use this.


I'm a housewife, a mom, a writer.
An engineer.


In fact the only time I've needed to be good with numbers is in the kitchen or when deciding how many words per day to write to reach my yearly goals.  I have a conversion chart and cheat-sheet in the kitchen.  I own a calculator.  I'm super fast on an adding machine.  What more do I need in this life?  

When it comes to math, nothing.  I've had my fill from elementary school to my college run the first go round.  I'm good enough to teach Kindergarten to High School math to my kids.  I took business math when pursuing my associates degree.  That one was practical.  Everyone can benefit from knowing how to balance a check book, add/subtract, and work a budget.  Business math is practical and you can apply it to your daily life.

This... "statistics" crapola?  Not so much.  I've agonized over why this is required for an English/ Creative Writing major.  Torture?  Making us grieve the impending loss of our hard-earned 4.0 GPAs?  Weeding out the quitters?  What other reason is there?

This is what real life math would look like.

So, as you can see, the shiny- "I can do all things" from last week has worn off a bit.  Oh, I still have faith that I can do all things through Christ... even math.  Even applied math.  I'm just giving up on the idea that I'll ever "get it", or "understand", or even come out of it with my mental health.  I've given up all hope of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel while holding onto that precious 4.0 of mine.  I'll be lucky to make a C.  And for that matter, a "D" is passing, right?  

Lofty goals, I gots 'em.  (rolls eyes)

I set out with the mind-set that I would not let math defeat me.  Well, let's just say I won't quit.  Not yet.  I just want to pass-- even if it's by the skin of my teeth.  It's sure to be close.  I might as well be reading a "How to speak Russian" text book in order to pass an "Advanced French" class.  It's that mind-numbing, confusing, and flat out preposterous.

Math week two has made Hell look a lot like Disneyland.  

I bailed out long enough to go for an angry run in the cold rain this afternoon.  It's bad when freezing your butt of on a run is more fun than your homework.  On a positive note, Red's "Release The Panic" is a great song for an angry run-through-the-rain-because-my-math-class-sucks-and-I-hate-it!

For that matter, it's a great theme song for how I feel about this whole mess.

Oh, and did I mention there's an exam this week?
A one chance only exam?


It's okay...
I found the directions!

And if that fails to work for me,
There's always Plan B:


This daily dose of DM brought to you by
a very optimistic cranky blue monkey.

Seriously, just back away slowly.
The math... it doesn't agree with me.

My "escape" is to pound the pavement...
{Even in a cold rain.}


What's yours?

How do you escape the inescapable ugliness of "real" life?

Let's hear it!  Share below!
It might improve my mood, who knows!



J. S. Bailey said...

Oh my goodness, this was too funny! I'm not laughing at your misfortune of having to take this class; I'm laughing at your response to it because it is EXACTLY how I felt during the math courses I was required to take. Granted, I was a business major and most of my math classes (sort of) applied to business. But when it comes right down to it, all you need to know mathematically when running a business is +-x/.

My condolences.

DM Kilgore said...

I spent the last two hours just trying to access my work through Pearson's "MyMathLab". Lord help me, this class is going to send me off to the "special" doctor for some "special" medications. o.O

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