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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Define Irony...

January 13, 2013

Sunday, 10:48 pm

Weight:  199.  BOOM!  Go me! 

Coffee Consumption: 1 cup and only 1 tbsp of Creamer.  Whoop! That's two days in a row of adding a dash of creamer to my coffee instead of a drop of coffee to my creamer.

Chocolate Report:  Haven't even sniffed a wrapper... which is why this post is about irony.

Wait for it... 


Dear Diary,

Webster's Dictionary defines irony like this:

the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning / a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony/ an ironic expression or utterance

Sure but...  ME? 

I define irony like this:  Go to doctor.  Find out you regained eleven of the twenty-seven pounds you worked your butt of to lose.  Come home determined to lose them again and get back on the right side of that nasty number on the scale which shall not be named.  Clean out the pantry, fridge, and hidden stash cubby holes of anything containing salt, sugar, fat, oils, starch, and artificial sweeteners.  Go to the store and buy nothing but organic lean steak and chicken, fresh tomatoes, spinach, cucumbers, oranges, and apples.  Cook the meat with no added oils, sauces, or seasoning.  Drink nothing but water and eat nothing but the plain meat, plain veggies, and plan fruit for an entire week.  Work out for at least thirty minutes a day- every day.  Survive this emergency diet for seven days.  Step on scale. 

WHOO HOO!  I've lost the eleven pounds.  Go me!  I did it!  I did it!  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!  And I'm motivated to go on and knock out the other forty-nine pounds I have left to lose.  Maybe not at this extreme diet but at a plan that cuts all the crap from my meals.  I can live without junk.  I can do it. 

Oh wait, where is the irony?  

Here it is.  Guess who won that box of yummy delicious chocolates from the most excellent source of sparkly good bloggin' on the web-- the Glitter Globe? 

Yep, that's right.  Me.

Now for those of you that don't know me that well...

Me and chocolate have been kickin' it for as long as I can remember.  I have always had a love/love relationship with chocolate!  In fact... me and Choco...  go a little something like this:


So... you can imagine my delight at winning this creamy, dreamy, oh so delicious box of choco-goodness.  I mean I do have this thing for peppermint bark.  And did you see the Milka Santa?  You can't get better than a Milka bar.  


So... what to do?  I pondered it for a split second then graciously (sobbing hysterically) offered to forfeit the crown to the runner up.  Now, this was not a decision I had to consider for hours or even sleep on.  I just saw that I won, laughed, posted how ironic... and notified the Sparkly Stephanie that I was going to pass on this box or yummy, delicious, creamy, dreamy...  *wipes drool*

What were we talking about?  Oh, right.  Saying goodbye to Choco.

This is huge for me.  The "old" me would have jumped all over this win and probably gobbled it all down the instant it arrived at my door.  To know I have a goal, I have a plan, and I am going to reach it feels good.  Will I ever kick it with my pal Choco again?  Yes.  I'm determined but I'm not a liar.

One day, when I have reached my goal... Choco will be invited over for very moderate visits.

PS- Diary don't tell anyone, but just between me and you,  that whole haven't even sniffed a wrapper?  I must confess.  I sniffed the picture of the box of chocolates.  I almost licked it, but managed to control myself.  Besides, the foster rug dog was watching me.  I think she's a secret Choco-Nazi.

~ * ~

This daily dose of DM brought to you by a very proud blue monkey
who just might keep wearing that patriotic two-piece .

By June... it might even look good on me again!

OH- and if you LOVE candy
and can't say NO
Be sure to visit the Glitter Globe.
She gives away candy filled
Epic Slinky Dogs
on a regular basis!

*Don't forget to browse around the other posts here... lots of contests going on!*


Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Poor Donna - I feel your pain. I broke up with chocolate recently, again. Our relationship never works out, why did I even let him back into my life? I don't know, but he's out now. May I suggest substitutes like sparkly toenail polish? Flowers? And when you are desperate, chocolate body wash. Because even if you can't eat it, you can still shower with it. Just sayin' - don't judge me.

DM Kilgore said...

If I could find it- I'd bathe in it. No judgment here. LoL I do have a favorite perfume with chocolate undertones... licking my arm in moments of desperation is not out of the question. *snicker* I actually love fresh cherries, strawberries, and blackberries-- as long as they are in season I never miss Choco. Too bad they don't stay in season. ;)

J. S. Bailey said...

I think they should change the dictionary definition of irony to your definition. :) Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think. Great post, Blue Sister.

DM Kilgore said...

Let's call Websters and see what we can do about that!

DM Kilgore said...

I think. It's Ironic. ;)

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